240 entries under "book"

[Paradise, AKA perfection, is not the destination, not a guiding force.]

[You write your books, you scatter your seeds, without knowing if or when they will be read, and by whom.]

[Every line published today is a victory over the future's obscurity.]

[History is less a series of finalized events and more like the weather: constantly in flux, smaller forces butterflying into larger effects far away from the source. The civil rights movement created a vocabulary and toolbox for social change; the effects go beyond the original intentions.]

[In the stock market, social and environmental destruction is defined as 'profit'.]

[Under NAFTA, corporations have an absolute right to profit and local laws must not interfere. Poisoning the well is allowable, stopping the free flow of poison is not.]

[History does not march forward like an army: it scuttles like a crab, erodes like the sporadic drizzle, ruptures like an earthquake.]

[Hope is necessary for action, and commits you to the future you envision: it throws you actively into what is emerging, to which you belong.]

[Preaching despair is easier and more popular than articulating the complex non-linear ways forward to progress.]

[Hope is being in love with success instead of failure.]

[Foundational change begins in the imagination, revolution doesn't always look like revolution.]

[Labeling ideas as dangerous is a sign of fragility of the state: when activism terrorizes more than the war-mongering military.]

[When you recognize uncertainty, you recognize that you may be able to influence the outcomes, alone or with others.]

[Optimists assume everything will be without involvement, pessimists assume everything will fail despite involvement, both excuse themselves from acting.]

[We don't always know the impact of action beforehand, and sometimes even afterwards; many people have had more influence after death.]

[People may change how they think without consciously referencing the source, believing that they always thought that way, because it can be compromising to reveal that someone subscribed to oppressive ideologies from the mainstream; power comes from the shadows.]

If I have a side, its against extremism—of any kind: religious, political, other: there's no conversation when everybody is absolutely certain of the righteousness of their argument.

As a political ideology and as a practical matter, I loathe communism. However, I often find myself getting along very well with communists. I feel the same way about Red State America. Not my world, not always my point of view. But I always have a good time in gun country America and tend to like the people I meet. Palin sticker on your bumper or Che Guavara—if you have a sense of humor and enjoy food made with pride, chances are, we can be pals.

I don't care who done it in crime books or why they done it, I care what they're wearing, what the room smells like, what's cooking, that sort of thing. I think those things speak volumes about people. […] What they're listening to. The record collection, always very important.

[Transform from seeing everything in pairs to multiples.]

[Intellect is not a trap but a tool.]

[Openheartedness: Greeting the world with compassion and without defensiveness; opening yourself to whatever love or connection life offers you.]

[A lifelong commitment to yourself.]

[The relationship, not either of the people, is the client, and needs counsel.]

[Invent agreements for right after the breakup, for six weeks later, for six months later.]

[Put aside future tripping: will this lead to sex? Who cares? The two of you are in the moment, feeling your feet.]

[Sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look.]

[Sexually successful people masturbate.]

[Try masturbating simultaneously with your lover in the same room, it could be a turn on or a way to learn their patterns of pleasure.]

My lady would like you to have her phone number.

[Look at random people and try to imagine: what is their lover's favourite thing about them? What makes them loveable or lustworthy? Do this especially with people you wouldn't normally consider in that way.]

[Open up a controversy, discuss it for a short pre-determined amount of time, then find a way to close it until next time.]

[When a relationship goal seems too large, split it into smaller steps, order by difficulty, and always take the easiest step.]

[We need to feel sure that the needs we reveal will not be held against us.]

[Eight steps to win-win conflict resolution: 1) Take time to vent anger. 2) Pick one issue. 3) Make an appointment to talk. 4) Take three minutes for each person to express feelings with "I-statements" and without "you-messages"; focus on emotions and maybe take time between each session. 5) Brainstorm a list of solutions. 6) Remove any that can't be accepted by one of you. 7) Pick a solution for a specified period like two to four weeks. 8) Re-evaluate when the time is up.]

[Between "full agreement" and "no agreement", there is a spectrum that includes "no agreement yet" or "tolerable disagreement" or "who cares?".]

[Expect that some agreements may not work or may require change.]

[Anger can indicate what is important to someone.]

[Emotion is not an opinion, it is a truth about someone's experience.]

[Feelings like to be heard and validated, not analyzed and explained.]

In some [indigenous] cultures it is customary to wait several minutes after a person speaks before responding: it is rude and disrespectful to fail to think about what the person has said

[Use jealousy as a signpost: "Work on this feeling right here!"]

[Try to learn without trashing yourself for not already knowing.]

[It may not be possible to eradicate jealousy from your system, but you can change the way you experience it and disempower the emotion.]

[Feelings like to be listened to.]

[Emotions are not 'wrong' or 'right': they are expressions of truth only need to be felt, not justified.]

[Have the strength to acknowledge what you are afraid of; the images in your mind are clues to what those fears are.]

[Silly is the opposite of powerful.]

This time I listened, without interrupting, trying only to let her know that I love her, I feel her pain, I am here for her. She is furious with me, and I am not giving myself permission to defend myself, and I hurt.

When our partners come home from hot dates, they are often excited and turned on and have some new ideas they would like to try out at home. [Nothing to lose] in this situation.

[Flirting is about seeing the other person, about communicating that you are paying attention, that you perceive how they are different from the others.]

[It's like learning to ride a bicycle: maybe strange and awkward at first, maybe you will fall down a lot, but once you find your balance it feels great, and you never forget.]

[You can't learn from your mistakes if you're always right.]

[When you find yourself blaming someone, ask if there are feelings of yours that you need to claim ownership of.]

[Everyone around you gets permission to be open with their vulnerable feelings when you have the courage to be open about yours.]

I ask for whatever I want, and say no to whatever I don't.

I turn difficulties into opportunities for growth.