I can listen to myself. I can acknowledge my own pain more precisely than most people. I have the time and flexibility to be present.

[Look at random people and try to imagine: what is their lover's favourite thing about them? What makes them loveable or lustworthy? Do this especially with people you wouldn't normally consider in that way.]

[Open up a controversy, discuss it for a short pre-determined amount of time, then find a way to close it until next time.]

[When a relationship goal seems too large, split it into smaller steps, order by difficulty, and always take the easiest step.]

[We need to feel sure that the needs we reveal will not be held against us.]

[Eight steps to win-win conflict resolution: 1) Take time to vent anger. 2) Pick one issue. 3) Make an appointment to talk. 4) Take three minutes for each person to express feelings with "I-statements" and without "you-messages"; focus on emotions and maybe take time between each session. 5) Brainstorm a list of solutions. 6) Remove any that can't be accepted by one of you. 7) Pick a solution for a specified period like two to four weeks. 8) Re-evaluate when the time is up.]

[Between "full agreement" and "no agreement", there is a spectrum that includes "no agreement yet" or "tolerable disagreement" or "who cares?".]

[Expect that some agreements may not work or may require change.]

[Anger can indicate what is important to someone.]

[It is possible to validate every note if it resolves.]

[Emotion is not an opinion, it is a truth about someone's experience.]

[Feelings like to be heard and validated, not analyzed and explained.]

In some [indigenous] cultures it is customary to wait several minutes after a person speaks before responding: it is rude and disrespectful to fail to think about what the person has said

[Use jealousy as a signpost: "Work on this feeling right here!"]

[Try to learn without trashing yourself for not already knowing.]

[It may not be possible to eradicate jealousy from your system, but you can change the way you experience it and disempower the emotion.]

[Feelings like to be listened to.]

[Emotions are not 'wrong' or 'right': they are expressions of truth only need to be felt, not justified.]

[Have the strength to acknowledge what you are afraid of; the images in your mind are clues to what those fears are.]

[Silly is the opposite of powerful.]

This time I listened, without interrupting, trying only to let her know that I love her, I feel her pain, I am here for her. She is furious with me, and I am not giving myself permission to defend myself, and I hurt.

When our partners come home from hot dates, they are often excited and turned on and have some new ideas they would like to try out at home. [Nothing to lose] in this situation.

[Flirting is about seeing the other person, about communicating that you are paying attention, that you perceive how they are different from the others.]

[It's like learning to ride a bicycle: maybe strange and awkward at first, maybe you will fall down a lot, but once you find your balance it feels great, and you never forget.]

[You can't learn from your mistakes if you're always right.]

[When you find yourself blaming someone, ask if there are feelings of yours that you need to claim ownership of.]

Set an example for other people by openly talking about your insecurities without feeling weighed down by then - to be aware of them, to speak about them with detachment, to share them without being dominated. Set an example that there is no shame in doing that or need to feel like you might be rejected.

What can we normalize with our actions?

Tell people who you are.

[Everyone around you gets permission to be open with their vulnerable feelings when you have the courage to be open about yours.]

I ask for whatever I want, and say no to whatever I don't.

I turn difficulties into opportunities for growth.

Try to recognize and affirm the unique qualities of each person you meet.

The opposite of insecurity is to be comfortable with yourself, your attitudes, your way of thinking - to exist as you are without justification.

Pay less attention to the stories and more to intuition, shorten the gap between feeling and acting.

violence can be functional to the interests of Washington and big capital, as it weakens popular capacity to rebel against hyper-exploitation, extractivism and quotidian oppression.

Love never expects anything in return / Love knows only giving / Giving and giving / Without even waiting for a thank you

Attachment to a specific outcome blinds you to all the other ones.

We must make it so that every search is worth doing and every link is worth clicking on.

If videoconferencing is compared to a plane trip, what's the distance travelled? Is the plane full or not? In what year was it built? On the other hand, how long does the videoconference take? Does it happen over a wired or a wireless access network? Do you use a laptop or a high-end telepresence system? When you're streaming music, do you listen to a song once or twenty times? If you buy a DVD, do you go to the store by car or by bike? How long is the trip? Do you only buy the DVD or do you also shop for other stuff?

One important difference between online and offline services is the role of time. Online, energy use increases with the time of the activity. If you read two articles instead of one article on a digital news site, you consume more energy. But if you buy a newspaper, the energy use is independent of the number of articles you read. A newspaper could even be read by two people so that energy use per person is halved.

A sensitivity analysis generates very different conclusions from the ones that are usually presented. For example: streaming a music album over the internet 27 times can use more energy than the manufacturing and transportation of its CD equivalent. 25 Or, reading a digital newspaper on a desktop PC uses more energy than reading a paper version from the moment the reading length exceeds one hour and a quarter, taking the view that the newspaper is read by one person. 26 Or, in the earlier mentioned study about the energy advantage of videoconferencing, reducing the international participant's travel distance from 5,000 to 333 km makes travelling in person more energy efficient than videoconferencing when a high-end telepresence system is used. Similarly, if the online conference takes not 5 but 75 hours, it's more energy efficient to fly 5,000 km.