[Anger is a normal response to abandonment, and we can experience it even when feeling unseen or unheard.]
[Enmeshment is different from emotional intimacy. The former implies fulfilling roles that re-inforce dependency whereas the latter implies building trust through getting to know each other and mutual acceptance.]
The Art of Productive Disagreement
[Being civil, skirting around difficult topics isn't enough.]
[Disagreement is rarely about facts, but about values.]
[Seeing what happens, making a prediction and then wait, implies there's nothing to argue about. Everyone learns something. It's a way of creating rituals.]
[Celebrate cognitive dissonance from being wrong because it's a sign of learning.]
[In new spaces, ask what is nobody allowed to talk about. The closer it is to the surface, the more taboo it might be.]
[Put the facts aside: what does each party want? what do they think is going to happen? How much is it going to change the future? Let's check back in a month, no rush to solve this, we'll still be friends, it's about our relationship.]
[Biases are functional and everyone needs them to survive.]
[Parental rejection can result in the child lacking confidence that others can be interested in them. Instead of asking for what they want, they avoid interacting out of fear to burden someone else.]
[The need and desire for deep connection is not merely human, but genetic, coming from evolutionary imperative to be part of the group for survival.]
[Dismissively saying that one didn't mean it is a way to egocentrically focus on the intention as opposed to the negative impact of bad actions.]
[Not knowing who you are or not being given space to explore it is like having puzzle pieces that don't fit together, which results in inconsistency.]
[Inconsistency can maladaptively bond the parent and child because the once in a while there is a reward.]
Pino Palladino + Blake Mills: Chris Dave
From Notes With Attachments (2021). Grooooooovy, jazzy, funky, with intricate clicking and clacking, and water glasses played with a violin bow.
Beautiful chaos from one of the free jazz greats: plenty of clashing notes, disjunct rhythms—everything’s broken as it should be.
Spectacular album title. Features traditional sounds and singing by Congo-based musicians mixed with modern production techniques. If you dig this, check out the Nihiloxica from #014. Lots of groovy, funky bits where I found myself practicing Rich Brown’s modal improvisation tips from #012.
Fikret Kızılok: Zaman Zaman (1993)
Chills me out, quiets me down—music to sway. This Turkish rock singer creates an old sentimental sound using acoustic instruments. My favourite is Oysa Ben with looping chord progressions, sounds of the shore, vinyl scratching, seagulls. Nice also to hear the warm piano on İki Parça Can.
Blood and Dust: Rites of Blood and Dust (2020)
So far away from what I normally listen to that I needed to look up the genre in Bandcamp (it says ‘ambient ritual ambient atmospheric horror dark ambient drone horror drone melodic dark ambient queer Montreal’). I often struggle when listening to music that calls itself ambient because I tend to find it sort of ‘empty’, but this was very clearly not the case here. Many tracks have this tasteful way of shifting the meter from a ‘three’ to ‘four’ feel, or gradually building intensity, or contrasting between arhythmic and groove, textural and instrumental. In the Hollow of a Hill somehow works in a flute and maybe a cello… This is not passive listening but a sound experience that’s well put-together: I recommend hearing from start to finish.
posted to Blog
Zero Data on the Runtime Podcast
Protocol differences, what it's like to build them, tradeoffs compared to traditional designs.
[Is there a kernel of truth. How is it being spun?]
[Information is a verb, something that happens to you.]
[Inform-ation as reception.]
[Information is reaction.]
[We see not the world but our model of the world, periodically updated.]
[Hot I'll tell you. Cool you'll tell you.]
James Baldwin - The Struggle of The Artist (1969)
[If artists struggle while also having their work, it must be impossible for those who do not have the outlet.]
From New Paradigm (2018). Salutation to healing forces, introduced by the sound of breath, life, and spirit.
Chris Potter: Follow The Red Line (live, 2007)
Going through a reflective moment in the last few weeks, I found myself listening back to one of my favourite modern jazz albums. After dozens of listens, I continue to be inspired by the improvisational capacity of these musicians. It’s inspiring, comforting, centering.
Shiny little gem mixing traditional Ugandan drumming with elements of electronic music and techno. Supuki’s dark beats and groove drumming, combines the electronic with an earthy sound—intense; Tewali Sukali’s body-shaking rhythms are accompanied by grungy noise; Gunjula has fast-driving multi-layered polyrhythms; Busoga’s the lead synths are dripping light all over the percussion; Kaloli surprised me with its thrashing metal.
[With a mature parent, the child simply goes to the parent for affectionate connection. If the parent is afraid of deep connection, the child might feel uneasy or shameful.]
[Emotional intimacy exists when the other person seeks to know you moreso than to judge you.]
Building real bonds amongst diverse groups of strangers
[Get everyone to send a fun fact about themselves. Give everyone someone else's fact. Ask them to find their person.]
