58 entries under "book"

As it currently exists, foreign reporting implicitly defers to the priorities of the state and of business, occupying itself almost exclusively with events which touch on military, commercial or humanitarian concerns. Foreign news wants to tell us with whom and where we should fight, trade or sympathize[, but] these three areas of interest really aren’t priorities for the majority of us.

[We might not find Italian politics interesting if we’re living in a different country, yet it’s conceivable to watch a two hour Shakespearean play about Julius Caesar. This is because underneath stories that may have a different reality to ours in the specific, there lies the universals which transcend those gaps. The news might not write like Shakespeare, but would do well to pay attention to these universals.]

A journalistic gaffe is something a powerful person inadvertently says or does in a momentary lapse which (as everyone knows) in no way reflects their considered views and yet which the news seizes upon and refuses to let go of, insisting that the gaffe must be an indicator of a deep and shameful truth.

We should at least be somewhat suspicious of the way that news sources, which otherwise expend considerable energy advertising their originality and independence of mind, seem so often to be in complete agreement on the momentous question of what happened today.

the news cruelly exploits our weak hold on a sense of perspective.

having perspective involves an ability to compare an apparently traumatic event in the present with the experiences of humanity across the whole of its history – in order to work out what level of attention and fear it should fairly demand.

With perspective in mind, we soon realize that – contrary to what the news suggests –hardly anything is totally novel, few things are truly amazing and very little is absolutely terrible.

As currently structured, the news does not ‘see’ the property developer who condemns thousands of people to live in humiliating environments but who nevertheless breaks no laws and steals no money. The most assiduous reporter concerned with fraud won’t be able to put a finger on anyone criminally responsible for the commercial messages that subtly erode the dignity and intelligence of public life or find anyone who can be arrested for a decline in politeness or respect between the sexes.

[Religions take a pedagogical approach in conveying what is considered to be important, and the news could learn from this.]

The status quo could confidently remain forever undisturbed by a flood of, rather than a ban on, news.

The news knows how to render its own mechanics almost invisible and therefore hard to question. It speaks to us in a natural unaccented voice, without reference to its own assumption-laden perspective. It fails to disclose that it does not merely report on the world, but is instead constantly at work crafting a new planet in our minds in line with its own often highly distinctive priorities.

[Many people avoid writing wills because they don’t feel ready to pass on yet, but the universe doesn’t care and the government already has one written for you with a higher tax rate.]

[The power of writing down “what occurs to you” can be helpful for gaining clarity.]

[Even if “you’re gone when you’re gone” and don’t care what happens to your stuff, it’s wise to make a power of attorney.]

[In some Canadian provinces, probating a will essentially makes it public. One workaround is to use a trust, which is often a private document.]

[For the first year, avoid taking complicated decisions (especially when you’re brain is foggy) and just mourn.]

[Trusts can own assets when passed to them by the settlor, and beneficiaries can be classes of definable people or entities (for example, grandchildren not yet born).]

[Those over 65 can create Alter Ego Trusts in place of a will to distribute assets with more privacy, and transfer some assets into a trust without taxation events.]

[Advisors you might deal with include: bankers, investment advisors, estate planners, insurance advisors, lawyers, and accountants. The last two must be fiduciaries (obliged to act in your interest under risk of legal proceedings or loss of license.)]

[Ask progressively squirm-causing questions, about their 1) qualifications and if they’re regulated by an organization; 2) experience in years; 3) services and how often you’ll meet; 4) licenses to handles specific asset types (like stocks, bonds, etc…); 5) errors and omissions insurance; 6) their team if any to be wary of rookies thrown in later; 7) fees and payment structure; 8) sales quota this week; 9) understanding of fiduciary and if they are one (they must answer this correctly); 10) audited track record of selecting investments; a) answers in writing on company letterhead.]

[Writing a will is unselfish because it mostly benefits your loved ones as opposed to you.]

[Update your will when someone turns 18, gets married or divorced, or if you move to another state or buy real estate. Check it every five years.]

Do not say, “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. Not because they do not need, but because identifying a need, figuring out who might fill that need, and then making a phone call to ask is light years beyond their energy levels, capacity or interest. Instead, make concrete offers: “I will be there at 4:00 p.m. on Thursday to bring your recycling to the curb,” or “I will stop by each morning on my way to work and give the dog a quick walk.” Be reliable.

To the new griever, the influx of people who want to show their support can be seriously overwhelming. What is an intensely personal and private time can begin to feel like living in a fish bowl. There might be ways you can shield and shelter your friend by setting yourself up as the designated point person-the one who relays information to the outside world, or organizes well-wishers. Gatekeepers are really helpful.

My tragedy is not contagious; you will not catch your children’s death from me. I know you don’t know what to say. I wouldn’t have a few months ago, either. A little advice? Don’t platitude me. Do not start any sentences with the phrase “at least,” for you will then witness my miraculous transformation into Grief Warrior.

On the page, everything is allowed. Everything has a voice.

When someone you love dies, you don’t just lose them in the present or in the past. You lose the future you should have had, and might have had, with them. They are missing from all the life that was to be. Seeing other people get married, have kids, travel-all the things you expected out of life with your person-gone. Seeing other children go to kindergarten, or graduate, or get married—all those things your child should have done, had they lived. Your kids never get to know their brilliant uncle; your friend never gets to read your finished book.

A day (or more) inside a blanket fort of your own choosing is healthy.

[Being kind to yourself means not letting your own mind beat you up.]

[Early grief is liminal: we are no longer who we were and not yet solidified into something new—everything is in flux.]

[Anxiety can be overwhelming as there’s no shortage of potential disasters. You can trust yourself.]

[When people try to console your loss but make you cringe, there might be an unspoken (and perhaps unintended) “so please stop feeling bad”]

[Life is more about integrating than improvement.]

most things offered as “support” in our culture are really designed to solve problems or to get you out of pain. If it feels wrong to you, it is.

[The doctor who came up with the popular ‘five stages of grief’ regrets writing them in that way because it’s not linear and universal: there is no standard process.]

[The griever and those who care about them may want a road map to guarantee success, but grief isn’t predictable or structured.]

[Culture emphasizing happy endings, solutioneering, recovery, overcoming, redemption confuses us into seeing bad things as happening ‘for growth’]

Disadvantaged people who suffer so that the more privileged can live easier are labelled ‘heroes’ to keep them working.

[Grief is to be carried, not fixed.]

Add one and a half times as much white vinegar as water to a pot and bring it to a boil. For every four cups of liquid, add a quarter cup salt and a quarter cup raw sugar, and simmer until they dissolve. Or don’t measure anything and add salt and sugar until the brine tastes like you want the vegetable you’ve preserved in it to: potent, salty, and just barely sweet.

Pickle brine is also the best place, other than cocktails, to put leftover brine from jars of capers and other pickles. If you have any, either add them to your own brine, or simply heat them all together, taste them, then add salt or sugar or water or straight vinegar until it tastes good.

[Serve your guests something that is best cooked in advance so you can spend more time with them instead of scrambling in another room.]

[Let guests pick herbs or slice bread instead of bringing salad, so that you can offer a meal as well as receive help and turn the kitchen into a collaborative space.]

[Add garlic to warm oil in a pan, immediately salt a little, and cook it piled in one corner to draw water and steam softly.]

[Add olive oil or butter whether the recipe calls for it or not.]

[Potato in soup pr sauce can absorb salt.]

When the butter is melted, add the mountain of onions, a small pinch of sugar, a big pinch of salt, and a branch of fresh thyme, and stir it all well. Cook the onions over medium-low heat, stirring them occasionally. Add occasional sprinkles of water if the onions begin to stick. If they start to sizzle, lower the heat and cover the pot, then uncover it when the cooking has slowed. This will take forty-five minutes to an hour, and the whole mass will look soggy and unconvincing until right before the onions are done, at which point they melt completely into a golden jam and all of their sugars come out to toast.

[Make a simple paste from olives, garlic, salt, and oil.]

The very end of a batch of olive paste should become vinaigrette. Whisk in a tiny bit of mustard, a few drops of red wine vinegar, fresh lemon juice, and olive oil, and mix with romaine.

If it’s hot dogs or cinnamon toast that reminds your heart that it can be moved by food, make hot dogs or cinnamon toast.

[Make rice without an occasion, because you’ll eventually be hungry.]

[Chop fresh herbs to bash with oil, or press into butter, or flavour plain yogurt into a sauce.]

In autumn, roast a whole butternut squash. Smash it in a bowl with good olive oil, a little freshly grated Parmesan, and a lot of freshly cracked black pepper. Spread the squash thickly on the toast, drizzle it with more olive oil and a squeeze of lemon juice, and sprinkle it with roughly chopped toasted almonds.

[Stale bread can’t be bought. You must wait for it.]

bread soup that’s true to the spirit of bread, which is that if you have it, all you need to turn it into a meal is whatever else you have.

[Form leftover bread soup into cakes and fry with olive oil into pancakes; probably better than either the soup or the bread.]

Almost any fruit tastes good sliced, laid out on a plate, and sprinkled with salt and olive oil. Most taste good with herbs, or onions, or olives, or chiles, or nuts added, too.